What does “being weird” mean to you?
It could mean different things for different people. And surely it takes on a different connotation when you are talking about an entire city as opposed to a person or group of people. The general meaning of weird means out of the ordinary, or peculiar. Just something that the status quo is not used to. I never actually have considered Portland to be weird, and yet this moniker has stuck to the city for decades. Weird things to do in Portland? Let’s break it down…
Portland is liberal, it has great coffee, and a ton of hipsters on bikes.
But that doesn’t make Portland weird. No, the Rose City has a culmination of other features that gave it her weird status. It’s got the smallest park in the world….right in the middle of a busy street. Established in 1976, tiny Mills End Park resides smack dab in the middle of a pedestrian crosswalk. At two feet in diameter, it was deemed so by the Guinness Book of World Records and has kept its title over the years. It is maintained by volunteers and is often decorated for the various holidays throughout the year.
Portland has the most strip clubs per capita in the country. Now before you get all judgy and say “Ewww”, hear me out. This is per capita. Mind you, Portland has well over 2 million people in the greater metropolitan area, and these strip clubs are pretty well relegated to the ‘burbs….most of them. Ahem, St. Mary’s Strip club, who infamously taught Kristen Stewart how to pole dance for a role. Now that’s weird. Some of these establishments apparently serve mighty fine steak, as well. But I digress…
Hipsters CAN be weird.
Many of them take roller derby a little too seriously. They also love their craft beer and the environment. This last statement is a bit contradictory since it takes a lot of energy and resources to go into the making of a single pint of beer (bad for the environment). Hey, we all have to choose our battles!
There is the Freakybuttrue Peculiarium and the Vacuum Museum. The Peculiarium in Northwest Portland is a hauntingly kitschy not-tourist-trap where you can buy a ton of weird crap and peruse the extreme oddities. This shop is not for the faint of heart. Then there is the Vacuum Museum, which is exactly that, no bones about it. If you are into all things hoovering, this will make your heart flutter. You will walk through a complete history of this incredible gadget that has been satisfying clean freaks for over a millennia.
The Naked Bike Ride. It began in 2004 as a protest against the use of cars and fossil fuels. Today it is simply a celebration of letting your freak flag fly! And being naked is not required – some people choose to wear eye-catching outfits while cycling through the city streets with their buck-naked counterparts. And that’s okay! It’s all about expressing your individuality.
That’s right. VooDoo Doughnut.
Where else in the world can you get a cock-and-balls doughnut, freshly made? Or a gingerbread-looking freak with an actual pretzel stick coming out of his heart? That’s right, the world-famous VooDoo Doughnut, that’s where! Owned by an honest-to-gosh member of the clergy, yes, you can even get married there. This place is so weirdly cool, they’ve expanded to Denver, Austin, and even Tokyo! Fun fact: There is not a single time I’ve been in the Portland airport that I have not seen SOMEONE carrying the famous pink VooDoo doughnut box onto a flight to bring to their loved ones. As they say, “The Magic is in the Hole!” Um, why are you snickering?
The Tiny House Hotel. The tiny house phenomenon is slowly starting to take root across the land, what with the HGTV reality shows, now everyone wants a stylish pad at under 400 square feet. But did you know that you can try out the lifestyle before committing to it by staying in a tiny house hotel right here in Portland? No outhouses here, every unit has its own self-contained bathroom with all of the amenities of any other hotel room. Some even have really awesome lofts with queen beds. There’s even a central courtyard where guests can come together to enjoy live music, bonfires and the like.
The Adult Soapbox Derby. Alright, get your head out of the gutter. This has nothing to do with porn. Unlike Voodoo Doughnut. Did I just say that? Yeah, see my comment above about the porn donut, it’s tasty. Darn it, I’m getting off topic again. Ahem. But with adults who just want to act like a kid again. Speaking of which, no kids are allowed to partake, although they are more than welcome to cheer the “big kids” on.
This mural is not just a slogan. It embodies the true spirit of Portland. It is a motto, a mantra, and a way of life for many of us here (myself included!)
Along with all of these unique attractions, there’s just an overall sense of weirdness with many of the residents. But in a really relaxed and groovy way. I’ve mentioned in other Portland posts about how Portland is like a collection of smaller communities, and that small-town welcoming vibe is felt throughout the neighborhoods. Many locals will smile politely at you, and most will certainly answer your questions, should you be a visitor here. But they will also be the ones to fully participate in roller derby and the naked bike ride!
If it were not for the eclectic residents of Portland, the city’s fascinating practices and events that shape her, the Rose City would shrivel up and die. And I pray that NEVER happens. I’m quite sure it won’t! We have too many awesome, passionate and individualistic souls here who promote happiness, goodwill and an insane desire to live your own truth – no matter how weird that may be!
NORMAL PEOPLE BEWARE!! Just kidding, come on in! You’re cool.
Is there a city you’ve been to that is weirder than Portland? Please tell me, I’m dying to go!
